Oddly Botkins
by Izzu
Summary: Post Season 4 as well as post Vigil and Secrets. A collection of one-shots over the random odd things happening in Camelot, when the kingdom was not under threats. Aside from Merlin's and Arthur's antiques.
1. Girly

az: Because this came out randomly... those cheeky plot bunnies. I'm gonna be putting random one-shots in here. Not going to write any continuation of the reveal plot for now... let me have fun with them keeping the secret a bit more longer. Considering it won't be so easy to lift up the ban and remove the fear et al.

Title would be changed once I figure out a nicer one (Though I rarely do). Since plot muses like this will come out randomly, don't expect constant update though.

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><p><span>Oddly Botkins<span>

Being referred to and teased with tons of girly jokes for far too many times can start getting repetitive too

Written by Izzu alias honou-no-izumi

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Several weeks had passed by, and life continued to be so good. Well, occasionally on odd days there would be another threat coming to Camelot; some other attempts on Arthur's life by Morgana... or any other enemies of Camelot who wanted it to fall, or some incidents in some of the villages in the kingdom involving a plague or sorcery or some magical creature attacks on which case some of the knights or Merlin or Gaius or Arthur himself or _all of them_ would probably end up checking it out. Not like there was anything they could not solve.

Somehow, the timing for Arthur to find out about his secret could not have come at any better time. Gaius often told him to wait for the time when Arthur was ready _before_ confiding the truth to him. But with the many incidents where people who used magic for evil tend to make themselves _appear_ before Arthur, Merlin could not ever be sure of _when_ that time would ever arrive.

At least, right now... there was one worry being resolved. Extending that _particular_ knowledge to Gwen next, as well as the knights _and_ the rest of the people in this kingdom would be another thing. While Gwen might have been able to accept him _calmly—_Gwen after all _have_ seen many things in the past; that was actually _another_ miracle that she have not realised that he had magic at all, and she _did_ occasionally noticed things about him... especially during the Lamia incident—he was not really that sure about the knights. It might take a bit of time with them... but he knew it would not be so wise to break the story to them so suddenly. And then there was the rest of the people in Camelot...

Well... he would worry about those later. That aside, having Arthur _knowing_ his secrets now have been good. For one, if there was anything that might _reek_ of evil sorcery... or if he sensed some danger lurking around the forest during the patrols and hunts—at least _this_ time Arthur would pay heed to his warnings _more_ than he used to. That could save a whole lot of trouble trying to sneak around to make sure that everyone was safe.

The only downside of this situation, was that Arthur tend to grow _even more_ protective of him... even though the prat would never admit it. Yes, he had magic... but that part about him being clumsy was not an act. And Arthur always _loved_ picking on him about that. And also... Arthur had insisted for Merlin not to worry about his safety too much to the point that he neglected his own. Talk about pot calling the kettle black!

Regardless, Merlin was glad over these turns of events... aside from _one thing_.

xxx

"Don't be such a _girl_, _Merlin_."

Merlin glared towards Arthur as he led his horse across the woods. He was never fond of these patrols and hunts; regardless of the fact he felt obliged to accompany Arthur to make sure he was safe, seeing that almost too often... enemies of the kingdom, bandits as well as strange monsters tend to attack them when they come out into the forest. But not always did those things happen to them yet he _still_ did not liked it. Since if there was _one_ thing that never changed, it was Arthur's habit of _teasing_ him whenever they _did_ camp out.

All right, he _was_ a servant... but that did not mean they could bully him _all the time_ without fail. There were such things like enough being _enough_.

"Haha very funny, _Arthur_," said Merlin, mocking him with the same tone the king often addressed him. "But don't blame me if you suddenly stumble into some giant monsters out of the blue—" he paused as Arthur gave him a look that said 'not _every time we DID stumble into trouble!'._

Merlin rolled his eyes at him. "And _enough_ calling me and teasing me to be such a _girl_. I'm _not_ a girl and you've been telling me that so _often_ that it's getting _annoying—_"

"That's why I _often_ said it... _Mer_lin." aid Arthur as Merlin reached his limits.

"Pretty rich coming from someone who had a _pretty_ set of legs like a _girl _himself," Merlin added as Sir Leon snorted without warning.

Arthur stopped his horse and turned to glare at his knights who by now trying their bests not to laugh, before his eyes set on _both_ Merlin and Sir Leon. That _particular_ incident at the council room must have surged afresh in their minds. Merlin grinned as he braced himself of what was _sure_ to come...

"MERLIN!"

xxx

Once they have returned to the citadel, Arthur immediately dragged Merlin towards his chambers. He closed the door to his chambers behind him before turning towards Merlin.

"_Really_... Merlin?" he asked as Merlin shrugged.

"You _know_ I spoke the truth..." he said again with a blank face as Arthur stared at him pointedly.

"As if you didn't have girly legs either? With you being so _skinny_..."

Merlin looked back at Arthur before smirking. "Yours _prettier_... do I _have_ to prove it?" he said as Arthur could swear that Merlin's eyes... suddenly... _glowing_...

Arthur hurriedly turned to look at himself before realizing that his _pants_ have _magically_ fell loose. He looked up to see Merlin trying his best not to laugh. Arthur grabbed his pants back on before starting to chase after the cheeky rascal.

"MERLIN, COME BACK HERE YOU TWIT!", he cried before several crashes and strangled laughter resounded from Arthur's sleeping chambers.

Gwen hurriedly entered the room before gasping over the unexpected sight.

"Arthur! Merlin! What were you _two doing_ on the floor? And Arthur... why're your pants off?"

Arthur blushed deeply before sitting up straight as Merlin tried to suppressed his giggles. He shrugged as if they were not doing anything suspicious.

"It's _nothing_! My pants suddenly got loose... _silly Merlin_!" he said before slapping Merlin's shoulder _jokingly_.

Merlin rolled his eyes at Arthur before smiling towards Gwen. "What're _you_ so embarrassed about? As if Gwen _never_ sees your long legs _bared_ before, she's your _wife_!" said Merlin as Gwen let out a gasp before covering her face with her hands. Arthur elbowed Merlin _very hard_ before smiling to his queen.

"I'm all right, Gwen. Just need to tend to an _unresolved_ situation for the moment. Don't mind us!" he said while gritting his teeth. Gwen chuckled before excusing herself from the room.

As soon as Gwen left, Arthur turned towards Merlin.

"Now _back_ to business, off with your pants Merlin, let's see how _girly_ your legs _are as well_!", he exclaimed before jumping over his manservant. Merlin squealed as he tried to prevent Arthur from pulling down his pants.

Now _that_ did not turned out too well...


	2. Clumsy

az: Random comes and random goes

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><p><span>Oddly Botkins<span>

Because powerful and clumsy sounded so odd to be describing Merlin at the same time

Written by Izzu alias honou-no-izumi

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Merlin glanced up from his work to see Arthur seemingly concentrating on reading his _important_ parchments and books and nothing else. Yet he could not shake this feelings that he was being watched. He watched the young king suspiciously before going back towards the armour pieces he was meant to polish. Suddenly the hair at the back of his neck started to raise _again_.

There it was again! The _eye_...

Merlin looked up again, this time he finally caught Arthur staring at him red-handed.

"What's the big idea, Arthur? You've been staring at me for ages! It's annoying!"

The prat shrugged. "I'm just curious to see how clumsy you are at doing your work, which is at times I find it odd. Considering—like you said before—you're _supposed_ to be the greatest sorcerer that would have ever lived."

Merlin glared at him before muttering 'Warlock... sire, _warlock_ not sorcerer' over and over under his breath. He bit his lips before speaking.

"Arthur... _no matter_ how clumsy I am throughout the times I've been by your side I've been polishing your armour for many years now. I won't suddenly be fumbling over it, now that you _know_ all of my secrets. And being the most powerful warlock ever lived does not _exempt_ me from having any _flaws_."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "But you have _magic_! Certainly you'd be able to do things _more efficiently_ compared to other people..."

Merlin gave Arthur a long stare.

"Right, you'd think it be so _easy_. You're not the one having to live all these years trying to do things _normally_ without magic so that people would not _know_ that you had it and honestly it _wasn't_ easy to try to keep my magic in control most of the time without me using _it_ out of instinct!"

Arthur gave him a look of amusement. "Is that why you're so clumsy all the time? Because you're so focused on holding on to your magic that you could not be more alert on the things around you?"

He grinned as Merlin shot him a 'wasn't that what I've been telling you just now' look before snorting. "Well... seeing that I _knew_ about it now, you should be more at _ease_ about it. Not like I would start panicking if you accidentally magicked something up here."

Merlin shook his head slightly before rolling his eyes at him. "And what'll happen if someone accidentally walked in and saw it? What do you think will happen if people saw a _sorcerer_ sitting comfortably in the king's chambers with the king's _presence_ nearby?" He sighed melodramatically.

"And I can't suddenly relax nor do anything without magic out of the blue—suppressing my magic nowadays already becoming a force of habit! Don't be such a _bad_ influence... _Ar_thur."

He glared at the young king as that annoying grin remained pasted on his face.

"Oh? Am I such a bad influence now?"

Suddenly a pillow from Arthur's bed came flying towards Arthur's face as the king toppled from his chair. The young king climbed back up onto his seat as Merlin gave him a cheeky look.

"Yes... you _are_."

Arthur shrugged. "Pity... I've been hoping to get _more_ people to be aware of your _hidden_ secret."

Merlin rolled his eyes at the king.

"And _who_ again said that they're _better_ at keeping secrets?"

Arthur grinned as he leaned on his chair.

"Well... it's not _my_ secret to keep," he said as another set of pillows flew towards the young king.


	3. Getting old

az: Odd random thought passed by... and who don't like the old Merlin?

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><p><span>Oddly Botkins<span>

What a good time spent, talking nonsense in the middle of the night while lying beside a campfire

Written by Izzu alias honou-no-izumi

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"Hey, Merlin..."

Merlin looked to his side as Arthur stared back at him. He raised his brow at him. What on earth had got into the head of this prat? It was already night and the rest of the knights had already fallen asleep, save Gwaine who was supposed to be on guard—Merlin turned his eyes to check that Gwaine really _was_ awake—oh good, he was. He turned back towards Arthur.

"Go to sleep... _Ar_thur."

Arthur elbowed him roughly. "I can't sleep, so you shouldn't... _either_."

"Prat!" Came the reply as Arthur grinned. "... so what was it that the highness wanted from me that he just had to keep someone _else_ awake alongside him?"

Merlin rolled his eyes at him. Arthur cocked his head at him. "Like really... Merlin," Merlin glanced sideways as he waited for Arthur to finish his sentence. "Ever wonder how long could we be able to live? With all these fightings and all I'd be surprised if I could remain alive even for several more years at most..."

Merlin sighed before shaking his head. "I'm sure you'll live long. I'll make _sure_ you do as long as I'm alive so you shouldn't worry about that."

Arthur nodded. "Hmm... I guess so. I can't imagine what'll happen to me if you're gone—hey, doesn't that sounded as if I'm dependant on _you_ to keep being alive?"

Merlin glared at him, looking a slight bit offended but Arthur reacted as if he had not noticed it.

"I wonder how'd I look then... being _old_..."

Merlin snorted as Arthur kicked him lightly. He took a wary glance towards Gwaine before speaking to Merlin again, this time... with a much softer voice.

"Well... I've already _seen_ how _you'd_ look like when you're _really_ old, no surprise there. Though you might want to _remind_ yourself to _brush_ your _teeth_ more often..." said Arthur before snorting as Merlin pinched him. "I wonder how'd I look at that age."

Merlin snorted. "I bet you'd look as _nasty_ as your father... and even more prattish. Old people tend to get _more_ grumpy after all, what with the old bones and such."

Arthur poked his friend in amusement. "I take that as a _personal_ experience then? You seemed _so_... _knowledgeable_ about being old."

Both of them went quiet for a while before Arthur whispered to him again.

"Why _did_ you took that _appearance_ anyway?"

Merlin gave him a look that said 'well, you _do_ want to save Gwen that time, right' before shrugging.

"I happened to see an image of me like that at the crystal cave," he said softly before adding. "I can't accuse Morgana openly _anyway_ so I _had_ to create another sorcerer to shift the blame. The only one I know capable of doing that was _me_... anyway. That plan nearly failed with you almost recognising me..."

Arthur grinned smugly. "Well... don't blame me," he hissed, "Not my fault you had a very _beautiful_ set of eyes..."

Merlin chuckled alongside Arthur before doubling back towards him when he caught the word 'beautiful' on the last sentence. But before he could retort about that statement, Gwaine walked up towards them.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I think I'd look the _best_ when I'm much older compared to the both of you. I should not look too bad with grey hairs or even some bit of balding spots."

Both Arthur and Merlin snorted as they tried to imagine anything _balding_ over Gwaine's head before Merlin spoke. "That'll be interesting. Though truth be told I fear to imagine what really could become of us when we _all_ became older... if we remained the same until then. Can't imagine continuing to bicker with Arthur at _that_ kind of age. We'd look like some odd grumpy old men bickering!"

Arthur chuckled before nudging Merlin. "Why not? You can't _not_ allow me to continue picking on you even when my hair all greyed over and all. That'll be no fun!" He spared a glance towards Gwaine before adding. "At least that's better than having an _old_ Gwaine tagging along with you. He'd might as well bore us all including his children and _grandchildren_ with his _boring_ grandfather stories."

Gwaine shoved Arthur light-heartedly as Merlin chortled.

"_Now_ I wonder how everyone _else's_ going to look like when they're _older_..." he said before Arthur nudged him again.

"Now _who's_ keeping everyone awake now... _Mer_lin?"


End file.
